Today I'm going to talk a little bit about suicide. Sombre topic, I know, but it's a topic that has recently been a huge part of my life. I'm not suicidal, don't worry. No, I'm full of the joys of living at present. Unfortunately a close friend of mine isn't so positive these days and I often find myself thinking about her and aching inside at the thought of losing her.
It was about two months ago that she tried to end it. I wanted so badly for her to pick herself back up, dust herself off and learn to be happy; but through talking to her I've come to accept the fact that it was never going to be that simple. I suppose I should have known; I'm no stranger to suicidal thoughts. I just think of this particular friend so dearly and hate the thought that she's hurting. I worry every time I say goodbye to her that I'll never talk to her again; never hear her voice or see her face or cause that laugh I've come to know so well. I prepare myself for the news that she's tried again and this time succeeded.
I know this friend will be reading this... I just want you to know that whatever happens, I'll be here. I'm honoured that you even consider me a friend - you're actually that amazing. I know that as long as we both walk this earth there's not a single thing that could break us apart for good. The only thing I'm scared of is if one of us leaves this earth...
Look at me, getting all emotional. I love you girl; that's all I can say.
xxxx
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